This is my first blog post. I thought I would give this a try. I love to write and I have so many topics I can write about. Everything I do is 100% pure passion I do not ever enter into things lightly. So with that being said where should I start? Okay let me tell you a little bit about me and some of my interests, hobbies, and passions in life. I am currently 34 years old. I am a single mother to an 11 year old boy. My life thus far has been anything but ordinary. I grew up in a small town where nothing ever happened. I assume most people live like that. Daily drama of small town life. So I grew up living with my mom and her “friend” (who I find out when I get older was actually her girlfriend.) I lived a very sheltered and overly protected life due to circumstances from the past. I have a feeling that this is really boring and no one wants to read it. So if you have read this far let me know what you think or if there is something specific that I should talk about.
I used to think that everyone felt this way. I thought it was normal to live like that. I was sure no one cared or worried about me because they were going through the same thing that I was every day. I never talked about it because I didn’t think it was wrong so I suffered in silence. Behind a broken smile and happy Facebook moments was an empty broken soul. We think we know what love is and how to deal with it until we are told that we are doing it all wrong. The person that you trust the most and has sworn to take care of you forever has destroyed you mind, body, and soul. And yet, you still crave them and want more. I always used to look at women in physically abusive relationships and wonder why they stay with someone who hurts them. People feel bad for these women bc you can see the product of the abuse (bruises and scars) yet not one person is willing to step in and save them. When you are emotionally and psychologically abused no one can see it or hear it but you. And you are so brainwashed by it that you don’t even know that it’s happening. Yet you want to stay because you love that person and things might change. They don’t ever stop. It won’t ever change. They tell you that they love you but they rip you apart and you don’t have the strength to fight back. You distance yourself so far from the rest of the world that you are alone. No matter where you are you are so withdrawn that no one can even see you. And if by chance someone does see you, then you are instantly wrong for attracting that persons attention. It must have been the way you looked at them, or how you dressed that made them look in your direction. You are so very wrong and you are going to feel it and live it for a long time. Then one day something happens and the entire universe shifts. You have finally reached the point where you have nothing left to give and they have nothing left to take. Those puppet strings are getting old and starting to fray. So you begin to stretch yourself a little bit more. You begin to see the sunlight and hear the sounds of life. You try to understand that you are still alone and all those people who said they were there for you no matter what are gone. You have unknowingly pushed them all away. Rather than being able to move on you become stuck dwelling on the past and trying to convince yourself that it was not that bad, everyone goes through this. Stop being such a baby and deal with the hand you have been dealt. This is your life now alone. You have been mentally beaten and you think that you deserve to feel this way. And yet you still crave and miss that person who has literally destroyed you. Your love for someone who has never given you what you needed is beyond your control. But who can stop it from carrying on? Anyone who has tried to help just gets pushed aside and thrown away. So how do you get away? How do you fight the feelings that tell you that no matter what you do you are always going to love them and go back to that toxic relationship. So why even try to fight it? Why not just let yourself go and destroy other people in the process? That voice in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that you are worth more and you deserve better is not loud enough to change the thoughts and feelings of the last 6 years. If marriage is supposed to be forever then what did abused women do to stop the cycle of pain? I am beginning to see how it could be possible for someone to become a murderer. Not that I can condone it but I definitely see how it could go that way. I guess what I am trying to say here is that you never ever really know what is going on with someone else and you should never just walk away from a friend if they stop communication with you. Push through that wall they built to keep you out and trying to save you. Keep asking and talking and being there. Walking away is easy and many people do it but being there and being a friend to someone who is fighting for their life in a mental battle is very hard but worth every second.
Have you ever felt so low in your life that you weren’t sure how you were ever going to make it back out of the hole you fell into? Well that was me. Until I started to pray. Not like go to church and say the our father, but have everyday normal conversation with the Lord. Ask him to please bless me in my business and to point me in the right direction of his plan for me. I asked him to please help me with my current financial crisis and to lead me down the right path towards his love. He has since shown me abundance in my business and I am making money, or finding money or just being handed money left and right now. I feel a weight has lifted from me and I feel no stress or worry because I have given it all up to him. So please don’t hesitate to talk to the Lord, he will listen. Just because you don’t see the answer right away doesn’t mean that he didn’t hear you. Maybe he gave you an answer you were not expecting. Either way he will always be there.
Back in October 2017 a friend started talking to me about trying out this new way of eating called ketosis. It sounded too good to be true. I could eat foods high in fat and lose weight. There was no way that could ever work! But it totally did I lost 10 lbs in my first 10 days on the diet. I was doing really well for a while then I got really sick and had a hard time trying to swallow certain foods, so I gave myself a break from my new w.o.e. and went back to just eating whatever I wanted. At first it was great bc I needed to eat soft stuff and hot things to help my throat feel better but then as I started to feel better I continued to fall off track with my diet. Homemade cookies became my downfall bc they were sooo good!!!! As of January 1st I promised myself I would get back to it and I have. I am back on track and have lost 7lbs in 3 days! So the crazy thing that works about this diet is it burns fat for fuel and not carbs or sugar. The plan is this: high fat content, moderate protein, and very low carbs. Also no sugar. I found the hardest part is the no sugar for me. There is literally sugar in absolutely everything! So I am trying very hard to make everything homemade bc as soon as it is manufactured in a store it has added junk in it. The stuff they use to preserve your food so it can have a shelf life is the stuff that makes us all FAT! Well that’s all for today. Maybe if you are interested in hearing more about what I eat on a daily basis or some recipes to try out the ketogenic diet leave me a comment and let me know!!!
Have you ever wanted to completely cut out all the toxins and crap from your life? Can you believe that I have gone over a year without buying laundry soap, dish soap, or hand soap? I make my own for literally just pennies. I love the fact that everything I use is 100% natural and I know exactly what is in it all because I am the one who made it. There is a saying out there… I have an oil for that… it is so very true! No matter the situation I know that my essential oils always have my back. I am sure that you have smelled lavender. It seems to be everywhere lotions, sprays, cleaners, candles, any thing you can think of. The difference between that stuff and essential oils is that the oils are pure straight from the plant to the bottle, other things like lotion have been altered by chemicals and diluted to prolong the aroma that is not even close to what the actual plant smells like. The actual smell of lavender is so very calming. It has a flowery scent but is not too overbearing. Men have been known to love the lavender essential oil. Stay tuned to hear more about these amazing oils of mine!!!